I've had a recent realization about myself. Profound and interesting, I think. For whatever reason, in my mind, I equate hammocks with happiness.
I'm not entirely sure why this would be. All I know is that I have had this mental association since I was a small child. Part of me honestly believes that I will never be truly happy until I have a hammock. So my entire life thus far has been pre-hammock. That's why it has been so up and down in terms of quality. But once I have a hammock, things will even out; life will be good.
This is actually a little stressful for me (a shining example of me being overly high-strung.) In addition to the part of my brain that is awaiting the happy life of hammock enjoyment, there is another part of my brain that is terrified that having a hammock won't be all it's cracked up to be. What if I am disappointed in the hammock-lifestyle? I have built it up quite a bit in my brain. What if it's just alright, but doesn't live up to my high expectations? Could I continue on, knowing that my one concept of happiness is a lie?
So, I've decided that I am not just going to go out and get a hammock. (Sounds tempting, though.) Instead, I am going to wait for my life to become really awesome and THEN get a hammock. And I will retroactively attribute the awesomeness of my life to the hammock. This sounds like a good plan. There is only one flaw. What if my life doesn't ever become really awesome? I don't have an answer for this. It might not. But I think it is a lot better to go through life hoping for an awesome-hammock-life than to have no hope at all. So there we are.
PS. I've recently realized another deeply held belief of mine. For whatever reason, when anybody in a movie or TV show introduces themselves as being from Scotland Yard, I immediately trust them. I don't know why, but it feels like a childhood thing. It might be the accent combined with the air of authority. Part of me kind of wants to start introducing myself as Harrison Cooper, Scotland Yard. Actually... I might just start doing that.