Friday, June 24, 2011

One of the Worst Things I've Ever Seen

Just a quick one because I need an outlet for my anger.

The other day I was in my family living room, on my way to the kitchen to make a sandwich or something.  The Disney Channel was on the living room TV.  I stopped and saw one of the worst things I've seen in quite some time.  No, it wasn't one of the many awful tweencoms they air on that channel.  I wish.

It was a classic Donald Duck cartoon, except it was narrated by some horribly annoying, douchey voice, making jokes about the slapstick.  Every time Donald got hurt (he was trying to back a pie, incidently), this douchey male voice would say "BLAM!"  And sometimes, it would rewind and do it again in slow motion.  All the while this douchey voice would make horrible jokes about something that was already funny.

Needless to say, I was very insulted.  I was insulted at the idea that children wouldn't understand that a classic cartoon was funny unless they were told by a hip and modern voice that it was.  This is a bastardization of classic cartoons and makes me absolutely furious.

I saw another one, this time a Goofy cartoon.  Same type deal.  Goofy was trying to lift weights and was getting hurt in a lot of very creative ways, which would have been quite hilarious if this horrible "BLAM!" guy wasn't treating us to his douchey remix of the cartoon.  (I realize I've used the word douchey several times on this post. While I tend to try and tone the language down here, this is honestly the only word I can think of to describe this guy's voice.)

What I don't understand is why Disney is so willing to bastardize their own work.  I suppose they think it's a good money-move, but I wish they just showed a bit more respect for the art.  These cartoons are great, and it's a real shame that they are treating a new generation to a mutilated version of them.

Anyway, I'll get off my soap box now.

Sidenote:  I really like that old Disney animation.  The wild elasticity of almost everything in those cartoons is great fun and lends a unique imagination to them.  It's really only something you can get when you have someone doing the drawings by hand.  I feel like that has been lost in this age of computer animation, and would really like to see classic hand drawn animation make a comeback in the west.

Sidenote to the Sidenote:  I am going to go see Cars 2 today.  All of my friends aren't especially confident in the film.  While I realize that this film is probably more financially than creatively driven, I still have never been disappointed by a PIXAR film.  While Cars was probably their weakest offering, I still enjoyed it and am optimistic about the sequel.  Besides, Toy Story 2 was better than Toy Story, and Toy Story 3 was better than Toy Story 2.  At the very least, you can guarantee some excellent and groundbreaking animation.

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